Hearse Heist: 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week
Including a grandma who kept on truckin' and a slow-speed scooter chase
By Jenn Gidman,  Newser Staff
Posted Jul 24, 2015 5:09 AM CDT
Updated Jul 24, 2015 8:56 AM CDT
FAIL.   (Shutterstock)

(Newser) – A "bedridden" burglar and a failed hearse scheme in Buffalo are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

  • Cops: Guy Wanted Home Appliance Fixed, So He Faked Chest Pains: A Pennsylvania man has been charged with obstructing emergency services after calling 911 complaining of chest pains, police say. When medics got there, Travis Turner told them he was fine—but one of his appliances wasn't.
  • Grandma Takes Stolen-Truck Matter Into Her Own Hands: When a thief stole her late husband's pickup truck, a "heartbroken" Ana Dean says she piled her grandkids in the car and began driving around Albuquerque looking for it. She soon spotted the truck in a parking lot—and admits what she did next was dangerous.

  • Here's How the Story of the Man Who Fled Cops on a Scooter Ends: Joseph Scurti, a suspected drug dealer, tried to evade authorities in Nevada when Carson City deputies tried to pull him and his TaoTao scooter over. Deputies say they ran the scooter's registration and learned Scurti had two outstanding felony warrants. He then allegedly tried to make a getaway, and it didn't go so well.
  • Cops: Guy Stole Hearse to Frame Enemy: It's the weirdest story about a stolen hearse you'll ever hear. Police in Buffalo say 28-year-old Michael Healing stole an empty hearse from outside a church as part of a scheme to frame his ... drug dealer. Healing had allegedly stolen $11,000 from the dealer and was under pressure to pay up.
  • Imagine Someone Hiding Under Your Bed for Days on End: That's what Jason Hubbard is accused of doing. Cops say he crept through the open door of his ex's parents' home in Spotswood, NJ, when someone was taking out the trash, then camped out in an upstairs bedroom for up to five days. Hubbard was charged with criminal trespass, burglary, and "theft of services" related to an odd thing that he allegedly did under the bed.
Click to read about more crazy crimes.
 

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