Precious Perp: 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week Including out-of-control arachnophobia and thirsty pigs By Jenn Gidman, Newser Staff Posted Dec 4, 2015 5:24 AM CST Updated Dec 4, 2015 7:36 AM CST 1 comment Comments This publicity file photo released by Warner Bros. shows the character Gollum, voiced by Andy Serkis, in "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey." (AP Photo/Warner Bros., File) (Newser) – A bizarre judicial mandate and a mom who should've stuck to cooking eggs for breakfast are among the weirdest crime stories of the week: Judge Issues Lord of the Rings Assignment: Bilgin Ciftci is accused of insulting Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (a prisonable offense in Turkey) after sharing photos of the politician and Gollum in similar poses. The judge on the case admitted he hadn't seen enough of Lord of the Rings to know whether the comparison was insulting, so he gave a panel of experts a most unusual task. Domestic Violence Incident Isn't What It Seems to Be: Aussie officers headed to a New South Wales apartment after neighbors feared a domestic violence incident had happened there. The 32-year-old male resident had been heard yelling, "I'm going to kill you … die, die!" and a woman had been heard screaming. But when he answered the door, he had a perfectly good (if somewhat embarrassing) explanation. Teen Has Strange Accomplice in Charges of Egging Houses: A Utah teen and her friends are accused of unloading up to 15 dozen eggs onto as many as 20 homes in August, breaking screens and furniture, messing up exterior stucco, and even damaging a car's ignition. But it's Jennifer Terry, the girl's 44-year-old mom, who's been charged with "causing a catastrophe." Woman Could Go to Jail for Giving Water to Parched Pigs: A Canadian animal-rights activist is in hot water for trying to slip a bunch of pigs some cool water. The pigs were headed to an Ontario slaughterhouse in June when their tractor-trailer stopped at a light. Anita Krajnc felt compelled to offer the animals a drink—and though the driver got insulting, it's Krajnc who now faces up to 10 years in prison. Cop Arrested for Hit-and-Run Isn't Oddest Part of This Story: Christopher Kohrs is in pretty deep trouble after a hit-and-run that left two pedestrians with serious, but not life-threatening, injuries. The 38-year-old San Francisco police officer reportedly hit the two men with his 2009 Dodge Charger while he was off-duty, then ditched his car and took off, cops say. But Kohrs was already pretty famous even before this incident. Ever heard of the "Hot Cop of the Castro"? Click to read about more crazy crimes.