The Worst Whistling: 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week
Including a guy who made off with a big bucket of gold
By Kate Seamons,  Newser Staff
Posted Dec 2, 2016 5:20 AM CST
Updated Dec 2, 2016 8:26 AM CST
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Whistle anything but "Closing Time," stock guy.   (Getty Images/filipw)

(Newser) – It's only once in a blue moon that the crazy-crimes roundup has the honor of presenting two stories that involve turn-of-the-century rock music. Steel yourself for the earworms that are to come:

  • Woman Calls Cops on Guy Whistling 'Closing Time': Every week, Capt. Mark Herb of Oregon's Forest Grove Police Department pulls together an entertaining police log, and the last item in the most recent installation didn't disappoint. For the week of Nov. 20, the log cited the revival of a once-ubiquitous late-'90s song. The log notes a "verbal altercation" took place when a woman become perturbed and told a man to "shut up" when he wouldn't stop whistling Semisonic's "Closing Time" near her driveway. And he reportedly didn't stop.
  • Careful When Spurning Lover Who Can Wiretap Your Phone: Be careful if you get involved with a high-ranking prosecutor; you never know what she might do if the relationship comes to a bad end. Brooklyn prosecutor Tara Lenich, 41, is accused of forging judges' signatures in order to tap the phone belonging to a married NYPD detective in whom she was romantically interested. Lenich was arrested Monday, after a staffer brought the wiretap investigation to a supervisor's attention after getting suspicious about how long it had gone on.

  • They Prepped for Doomsday, Got Foiled by Burglars: A Cleveland couple was ready for the apocalypse—but apparently not for thieves. Teena Brayen says burglars broke into her home early last Tuesday while her family was sleeping and made off with five shotguns, a high-powered rifle, a pellet gun, 12 machetes, smoke grenades, food rations, and more. Brayen and her husband had hoped to use the supplies to protect and provide for themselves in the event of catastrophe, or perhaps invasion by another country. She explains how she thinks the thieves knew about their stash.
  • Bold Thief Makes Off With Bucket of Gold, Slowly: When opportunity knocks, remember to lift with your legs—especially if said opportunity comes in the form of an 86-pound bucket of gold. Surveillance video from Sept. 29 but just released by the NYPD shows a man walking by an open, armored truck in Manhattan, turning around, grabbing a bucket from the truck, then slowly walking off. The man apparently took advantage of a 20-second window during which one guard was making a pickup and the other was checking his cellphone, to great financial gain.
  • Cops Threaten Drunk Drivers With Nickelback: Cops in a small Prince Edward Island town have warned that drunk drivers will be punished with the music of some fellow Canadians: Nickelback. In a Facebook post, the Kensington force warns that they'll be out this holiday season "looking for those dumb enough to feel they can drink and drive." The punishment for those caught will include "a bonus gift of playing the office's copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail. The band was chosen partly because of frontman Chad Kroeger's 2006 brush with the law.
Read more crazy crimes, including the story of a Fiat heir who allegedly faked his own kidnapping, here.
 

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