Oprah Winfrey has declared 2017 her "Year of Adventure," and as part of that year, she decided to take her first cruise and invite 2,000 of her biggest fans along for the ride. Allison Davis and her mom were two of those people, and Davis entertainingly chronicles the "Oprah cruise" to Alaska for The Cut—though one wonders whether Oprah can really say she's taken a cruise considering, as Davis reveals in her piece, the talk show guru was only on the boat for one day and one night, during which everyone could attend her talk (attendees found out, among other things, that Oprah loves to drink and that she recently discovered Auntie Anne's pretzels) and lucky cruisers who were able to score tickets could have dinner with her or meet her for a photo op. Davis and her mom did the latter, though Davis finds herself unable to say anything to Oprah beyond "guh."
The rest of the time is spent shopping in the O-shop for some of Oprah's favorite things (Davis buys, among other things, a plush blanket, some foot cream, and gummy candies Oprah apparently loves), doing guided meditations, dancing with Oprah's best friend Gayle King, attending presentations about living your best life, excursions, talking to other guests about vision boards and manifesting your dreams, and, as Davis puts it, "drinking at any hour of the day I want to." Ultimately, though Davis and likely everyone else got on the boat "tempted to think you can really change your life in seven days," by the end of the trip when guests were sharing their favorite memories, most mentioned meeting Oprah. "Nobody talked about feeling like a new woman, or committing to meditation," Davis writes. "On the cruise, we learned that a glacier moves just 0.5 meters a year." The full piece is a fun read.