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December 2, 2008 8:06:44 PM CST

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Writer Fails in Doomed Bid to Escape Google for 24 Hours

Posted Sep 7, 08 10:31 AM CDT in Arts & Living,  Technology 

(Newser) – On the tenth anniversary of Google, Colbert Report writer Rob Dubbin attempts to avoid using the Internet behemoth for 24 hours—and finds its tentacles impossible to escape. He discovers "deeper" dependence than expected, "encompassing personal use" and the "nested dependencies of people and institutions surrounding me"—a "harrowing" discovery. "The blue 'G' found a way to surprise me around corners, grinning like some horrible fanged maw," he details in his diary.

  • Friday, 5:43pm: "This feels a bit like severing an umbilical. Somewhere, black ichor spills from a writhing stump, and Google screams blindly in pain. It's on."
  • Saturday, 1:07pm: “I log in to Gmail before I realize what I'm doing. It is not the last time this will happen.”
  • Sunday, 12:24pm: “May as well just glance at my email.”

Source Washington Post

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Internet giant Google celebrates its tenth anniversary on September 7.   (AP Photo/Jens Meyer, file)
The logo for the Google Chrome Web browser. Google Inc. is releasing the Web browser in a long-anticipated move aimed at countering the dominance of Internet Explorer.   (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)
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When I am ... trying to find the Inuit word for "hat," and Google tells me the answer is "Nasak," I accept this as "likely true" and move on with my life; ten years ago, I don't know what I would have done. Probably married an Inuit. - Rob Dubbin

I really hope this helps Google find whatever unholy pattern of human behavior they're looking for, because the next step from here is demanding that we simply hand over our brains. - Rob Dubbin

This is perhaps less a celebration of Google's tenth birthday than it is the harrowing revelation of our tenth anniversary. So goodnight, dear dear Google—congratulations, and sweet dreams. - Rob Dubbin

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