Snappy newsletters. Simple Facebook sharing. Spirited comments. Sweet features are waiting… GET THEM NOW!

Hot on Facebook
Uproar After NC State Agent 'Fixes' Girl's Lunch Preschooler has to eat chicken nuggets instead of mom's meal »

Life? Nah. Make Him Work at SEC

By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff

Posted Mar 12, 2009 5:23 PM CDT

(Newser) – Now that Bernie Madoff is guilty, it’s time to talk sentencing. CNBC hosted a contest to come up with the most inventive one for the disgraced financier, and the winner is: working for the SEC, "catching people just like him." But that doesn’t mean the other finalists— which include displaying Bernie for cash to pay back investors, and trading him to Palestine in exchange for Israeli soldiers—are any less worthy. Here are some more:

  • Tie him up in Baghdad wearing a Yankees shirt and a Salman Rushdie hat.
  • Release him and allow the Russian mob to exact vengeance.
  • Put him to work with a hardhat and a shovel on infrastructure projects, "until he drops."
  • "Ten minutes alone in a room with the investors he cheated."
  • "Fifteen years in same cell with chimpanzee."
For the complete list of suggestions, click the link below.

Bernard Madoff arrives at Manhattan federal court today.
Bernard Madoff arrives at Manhattan federal court today.   (AP Photo)
In this artist's sketch, Bernard Madoff, right, speaks to the court during a hearing in federal court today in New York. His attorney, Ira Lee Sorkin, stands next to him.
In this artist's sketch, Bernard Madoff, right, speaks to the court during a hearing in federal court today in New York. His attorney, Ira Lee Sorkin, stands next to him.   (AP Photo)
In this artist's sketch, Bernard Madoff, right, speaks to the court  during a hearing in federal court today.
In this artist's sketch, Bernard Madoff, right, speaks to the court during a hearing in federal court today.   (AP Photo)
A Madoff investor cheers his guilty plea.
A Madoff investor cheers his guilty plea.   (AP Photo)
« Prev« Prev | Next »Next » Slideshow
To report an error on this story, notify our editors.
A snapshot of the day's best news stories.
 
COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 3 comments
MrBisme
Mar 13, 2009 12:11 PM CDT
And what would you do after he's stolen another 60 billion starting by swindling the homeless?
Vostok
Mar 13, 2009 5:52 AM CDT
It doesn't work that way. In a few years no one will even remember this guy. Madoff is just a fall guy. He goes down, the public feels satisified, and all the Madoffs of the world go back to work.
Fondue
Mar 12, 2009 11:56 AM CDT
My suggestion is: Take everything from him and his family except for the clothes on their backs and $50 each; and put on the curb and drive off. These people need to know what it truly means to have everything taken from them.

More Newser Stories

Mets' Owners Won't Lose All Their Madoff Money

'Amish Bernie Madoff' Busted

SEC Lawyer Linked to $1.5M in Dirty Madoff Money

HSBC Sued for Aiding Bernie Madoff

Madoff's Brother Target of Crime Probe


NEWS FROM OUR PARTNERS
Other Sites We Like:   24/7 Wall St.   |   Betty Confidential   |   BuzzFeed   |   Cracked   |   Fark   |   Timelines   |   The Frisky   |   Geek Sugar   |   NewsOne