Snappy newsletters. Simple Facebook sharing. Spirited comments. Sweet features are waiting… GET THEM NOW!

You're At the Beach, Now Cover Up!

By Rob Quinn, Newser Staff

Posted Jul 16, 2009 8:23 AM CDT

(Newser) – Being at the beach is no excuse for unseemly dress, writes Paula Marantz Cohen in the Smart Set, who found herself looking at '09's swimsuit designs and wishing for some outfits from '10—1910, that is. Not wanting to show off vast areas of flesh usually covered up isn't just female vanity, Cohen writes. It's "not about looking fat but about being naked."

Today's bathing suits are "absurd, wrong-headed garments," Cohen argues. The old-style bathing suits may look silly to some, but it's "a lot more ridiculous to see her thunder thighs and his man breasts," Cohen writes. "I should note that swimming is not the only activity whose outfits I find unseemly," Cohen writes. "I feel the same way about football and ballet."

[Images (2)]

[Quotes (1)]

Women in the 19th century "sometimes put weights in the hems of their garments to make sure they wouldn't ride up," writes Paula Marantz Cohen. "If one drowned, one did so modestly." (Getty Images)

"When did the immodest bathing suit come into fashion?" Cohen asks. (Shutter Stock)

« Prev« Prev | Next »Next » Slideshow

You’re naked, goddammit. You wouldn’t wear bra and panties outside the bedroom, so why will you wear even less in front of a bunch of strangers for the sole purpose of putting your toe in the water?
- Paula Marantz Cohem

« Prev« Prev | Next »Next » Slideshow

To report an error on this story, notify our editors.

More Newser Stories

Phelps Flops in Old-Style Suit

He fails to qualify in two events, barely makes a third

(AP) - Wearing an old-style swimsuit, Michael Phelps missed out on two finals and barely qualified for a third today at a World Cup short-course meet. Phelps failed to qualify for the finals of the 100-meter freestyle and 100 backstroke. He qualified in the 100 medley, finishing seventh in 53.13 seconds. He'll try two more events tomorrow. More»

Phelps to Competition: Lose the Speed Suits

Swimmer challenges others to switch before ban takes effect

(NEWSER) - Michael Phelps challenged his competitors at the upcoming FINA/Arena World Cup meets to race without the full-body technical suits recently banned by swimming authorities for providing an unfair advantage in speed. The ban doesn’t go into effect until January, but Phelps said he was “getting ready for where the sport is going,” by switching early to a waist-to-knee “jammer.” More»

Swimmer Makes Ass of Himself

(NEWSER) - Champion US swimmer Ricky Berens got that sinking feeling when his high-tech suit split down the back an instant before he sailed into the water for his leg of a relay at the FINA Swimming World Championship in Rome. The result was a flash of muscly derrière transmitted on TV stations around the globe. More»

German Hands Phelps Rare Loss; Breaks Record, Too

Stunning reversal raises questions about role of high-performance bodysuits

(AP) - Germany's Paul Biedermann handed Michael Phelps his first major individual loss in 4 years—and snatched away his world record, too—with a stunning win in the 200-meter freestyle at the world swimming championships today in Rome. Virtually unknown outside his country before this meet, Biedermann has now erased Ian Thorpe from the record book with a win in the 400 free and knocked off the most successful Olympian in history. More»

Barcodes Will ID Illegal Suits at Championships

Swimming aims to weed out banned attire

(NEWSER) - Swimmers at this year’s world championships will be subjected to a barcode test to ensure their suits are legal, the Times of London reports. Suits’ buoyancy will be checked before the event, with each outfit assigned a code. At race time, the suits will be scanned; if they don’t match up to the given code, swimmers will have 20 minutes to change. More»

NEWS FROM OUR PARTNERS

What is Newser?

Face it: there's too much news. At Newser, we choose the most thought-provoking and entertaining stories from hundreds of US and international sources and reduce them to a headline, picture, and two paragraphs. And we do it 24/7—you can come back morning, noon, night (and in between) for something new that matters. Read less, know more.

Learn more »

Partnering with: Slate

View Newser on the mobile website