If Seinfeld Were on Today ...
Here's what Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are doing
By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff
Posted Nov 24, 2009 3:32 PM CST

(Newser) Seinfeld is probably gone for good, but if it did come back, PopEater runs down the status quo of the characters, based on the Curb Your Enthusiasm faux-reunion:

  • Elaine: Used Jerry’s donated sperm to impregnate herself, and now wants him to be a father figure for her daughter. After a doll-haircut fiasco, she lets the truth slip. Also, she’s addicted to her Blackberry.
  • George: Made millions by inventing an “iToilet” app, then lost it in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme. Now he’s trying to get back together with his ex-wife because she didn't invest with Madoff. He lives with Jerry.

  • Kramer: Pretty much the same, though he’s begun hiring prostitutes so he can use the carpool lane en route to Yankee Stadium.
  • Jerry: Still living in the same apartment after 20 years, though he’s upgraded to a steel fridge and flatscreen TV. Doesn’t even want Elaine’s kid to call him “Uncle Jerry," let alone act as a dad. Still loves Superman.
For more on other characters, click here.