Carla Bruni Needs 35 Takes Per Scene

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Why cast her if she's a complete noob?

Oh well, I guess I'll never know how Carla Bruni, the beautiful wife of French president Nicolas Sarkozy, will look in Woody Allen's latest film Midnight in Paris. I positively refuse to sit through any movie made by Woody Allen, old or new, ever since that pervert dumped actress Mia Farrow, his common law wife of 12 years, in order to hook up with Farrow's adapted Asian daughter, Soon-Ya. According to Mia Farrow, Woody sexually molested the girl as she was growing up, long before she reached her 18th birthday. In her tell-all book, actress Mia Farrow described her shock at first discovering Woody Allen had taken pornographic photos of the adopted daughter Soon-Ya and then that he was having an affair with the 17-year-old. Speaking in his own defense, Allen shrugged and said, "the heart wants what it wants." So now Woody is trying to cast former fashion model Carla Bruni, the wife of the current French President, in one of his films, but she doesn't actually have a "speaking part" in the film... Now why doesn't that surprise me one bit? Woody actually has a long history of casting women in his films only because he was sexually obsessed with them at the thime. It started with Dianne Keaton in the 1970's and it obviously has continued right down to the present time. I'm sure 'the Woodman' probably sprouted wood just thinking about seeing the French president's beautiful wife naked. (It's almost as exciting as seeing Eva Braun naked, hey Woody?) Yeah, Woody definitely has some "issues," but those who continue to empower the little 75-year-old pervert, by paying good money to watch his increasingly lame films, have even bigger issues, imo. Anyone who's observed Woody Allen over the years would understand that he would only have cast Carla Bruni (a non-actress) in one of his films because he was sexually obsessed with her; or perhaps he did it to guaranty that the film will garner at least some share of the French movie-going audience. (The French can't seem to get enough of Bruni—a former fashion model and the wife of France's current head of state). I sure hope for Woody's sake that lots of French moviegoers are willing to plop down their hard-earned euros to see his latest film, because no one in God-fearing America ever deserves to be subjected to yet another two and a half hours of sheer self-obsessed torture at the Woodman's hands. (I exceeded my own lifetime Woody torture quota many years ago!) In fact, why doesn't Woody move to France? Don't they have enough to charge Woody in the States for his incest with little Soon Ya? I hear the French love their little pedo movie directors. Just look at how they fawned over convicted child-rapist Roman Polanski. Yeah, I know that they've "suffered so much," with their terribly hard lives, but between Woody Allen and Roman Polanski, I just can't decide which of the two neurotic little movie director/pedophiles/elves I dislike the most. (Woody Allen is 5'4" and Roman Polanski is 5'3," though Polanski frequently wears huge platform shoes that make him appear quite a bit taller than Allen.) Boycott the Woodman! And Polanski too!!

I hope this isn't cutting into Woody's family time with his wife and daughter. It's convenient that they're the same person.