Wine-Swilling Lohan: I Deserved Black Swan

Findings are being forwarded to Lohan's probation officer

(NEWSER) - Lindsay Lohan might not be free for long. Detectives have concluded that the actress likely did commit battery in a confrontation with a rehab staffer last month and they're forwarding their findings for possible prosecution. "The investigation determined Ms. Lohan violated several aspects of her probation, including the battery," the Palm Desert Police Department said in a press release , adding that the department will notify Lohan's probation officer. It might be tough to make a case against Lohan, however. The worker is now saying she won't cooperate with prosecutors . More»

Meanwhile, Father of the Year accused of assault

(NEWSER) - The Delusional Quote of the Day comes to us from a source “very close” to Lindsay Lohan, who tells PopEater LiLo will be spending her time in jail writing music…and the resulting album “will definitely get nominated for a Grammy.” For more on her inevitable musical comeback, click here . More from the world o' Lohans:

• Some inmates are “pissy” about Lindsay’s “special treatment,” one recently released woman tells the New York Daily News . There are rumors, denied by the prison, of her own TV and dresser, special food, a private phone, and her own guard.

Lose the fake tan, the blond dye job, and the leggings for a start

(NEWSER) - Lindsay Lohan’s bad publicity parade marches on, but all hope is not lost: Tracey Harrington McCoy fully backs a LiLo career comeback, and she outlines a 12-step program on PopEater :

1. No more fake tanning: It’s one thing to promote your line of spray tanner. It’s another to show up on the red carpet with “oompa-loompa orange feet.”
2. No more fake hair color: Not only does the blond look fake, it highlights the orange tan—go back to the natural, and unique, red.
3. No more leggings: “Please start wearing a bra. Stop replacing pants with sheer leggings or tights.”

Plus, Ali Lohan turning into her sister, more

(NEWSER) - Age is nothing but a number to Madonna and 22-year-old boy toy Jesus Luz, but the language barrier is a problem. The Material Girl is paying $1,000 a week for an English tutor, the Daily Star reports, citing the Star. Elsewhere:

• Fifteen-year-old Ali Lohan might be the new Lindsay Lohan. “All she does is hang out with Lindsay, who is back to drinking and partying hard,” a friend tells the New York Post. “Ali is now wearing really skimpy outfits, and it's just sad.”

Sources bash Lindsay Lohan

(NEWSER) - Lindsay Lohan filmed scenes for a guest stint on Glee this week, and apparently it went just about how you'd expect. "Lindsay was a total nightmare yesterday," one source tells E! . "She was three hours late in the morning, and when she did finally arrive, she just didn't want to be there. She did not want to work. She had not memorized her lines, and she kept disappearing so no one could find her." Apparently a car had to be sent to the Chateau Marmont to pick Lohan up, and she was so "disrespectful" she earned herself the nickname "That Girl," the source adds. More»