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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2009
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39

Michelle: Beware 'Cute' Men

First lady talks mentoring, and dating, in 'Women of the Year' issue

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(Newser) – The cover of Glamour’s Women of the Year issue honors Michelle Obama for her push to expand mentoring opportunities for young women. New columnist Katie Couric also gets some advice on behalf of readers, including on the dangers of "cute" guys:

  • On mentors: “I was blessed—I had people rooting for me. It started with my parents, but it extended to almost every teacher that I had. Look for those mentors, because sometimes mentors don’t find you--sometimes you seek them out. Oftentimes, they’re flattered and glad to lend a hand.”

  • Beware 'cute' men: “Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. ... You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”
  • Be yourself on looks, style: “People are always going to have opinions, and people have a right to their opinions. ... But I’ve tried to be at peace with the choices that I make first, and then be open to everyone else’s reflection.”

First lady Michelle Obama on Glamour's December cover.
First lady Michelle Obama on Glamour's December cover.   (PRNewsFoto/Glamour)
Michelle Obama poses with White House interns in the December issue of Glamour.
Michelle Obama poses with White House interns in the December issue of Glamour.   (PRNewsFoto/Glamour)
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reasonator
Oct 28, 09 4:04 PM CDT
It's not Michelle's fault, because this bad relationship advice gets passed on by just about everyone, but let me help out: Don't try to find someone who will "make you completely happy and make you feel whole." You need to be completely happy and whole ON YOUR OWN. And then, if you find someone nice to be in a relationship with, then good. But it won't be them who make you happy. Happiness comes from within, not from without. Reply
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proud_prude
Oct 28, 09 6:32 PM CDT
Few girls at the age to be choosing their first boyfriend have reached the stage you're talking about, reasonator. And if they pick the wrong young man to go "steady" with, their progress toward becoming happy and whole "on their own" can be set back in terrible ways. Obviously the advice given would have been different if the question had been: "What's most important for those who are seeking happiness and success in life."
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reasonator
Oct 28, 09 9:31 PM CDT
@proud_prude: You may be right about much of that, but girls and boys should be taught the "becoming happy and whole on their own" from an early age. Instead, they learn through social osmosis that a relationship is what "completes" them (Jerry McGuire as an example). I'm in the business of helping people unlearn that kind of mentality.
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dboruta
Oct 28, 09 11:08 PM CDT
I agree with reasonator. When you're looking for a romantic partner, you need to pick someone who will be good for you and will help you continue growing as a person. Picking someone who is your complete opposite and "completes" you is a recipe for disaster.
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Monjubikahn
Oct 29, 09 8:04 PM CDT
Agreed
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