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Twitter = Crack, and Other Web Equivalents

YouTube is like shots of tequila; Gmail is caffeine

By Will McCahill,  Newser Staff

Posted Nov 22, 2009 1:28 PM CST
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(Newser) – We all have our favorite Internet time-wasters; now, Patrick Moberg gives us their equivalents in real-world vices:

  • Twitter is crack cocaine: “Fucking ANYONE is your friend. Yuppies do it on their iPhone. Cheap. Short. Fruitless.”
  • Tumblr is a bottle of wine: “A quiet night in with a couple friends … flipping through photo albums, singing favorite songs. … Emotions flow freely and without thought.”

  • YouTube is shots of tequila: “‘Just ONE’ to humor your friend quickly turns into 4 or 5. Anything and everything becomes wildly entertaining. A fun way to waste some time you won't really remember the details of. Probably for the best.”
  • Facebook is a vodka cranberry: “Social lubricant used to enhance still developing social etiquette. You're aware of your uninhibited actions, but comforted by the built in safety net of excuses.”
  • MySpace is huffing spray paint: “Destroys any chance of looking credible. You will be perceived as having the mindset of a middle-schooler, and probably do.”
  • Gmail is caffeine pills: “Great for a quick pick me up to stimulate productivity, but ultimately leaves you exhausted and relying on it.”
For the full list, check the link to the right.

Cocaine.
Cocaine.   (Wikimedia)
As with YouTube videos, tequila shots have a way of multiplying fast.
As with YouTube videos, tequila shots have a way of multiplying fast.   (Wikimedia Commons)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 11 comments
cognitivefilter
Nov 25, 2009 2:52 AM CST
clever
SalParadise
Nov 23, 2009 9:09 AM CST
Twitter is much more like tobacco. it's becomes so ingrained in habit that people continue to do it long after they've stopped enjoying it. You get your fix in five-minute bites. You've taken to asking yourself,"why?" every time you have a smoke (or tweet, you twat).
SalParadise
Nov 23, 2009 9:05 AM CST
And you always regret it for the side-effects that go along with it. Such as the munchies. Or petty imagined drama.

 
YouTube • MySpace • alcohol • Facebook • wine • Gmail • tequila • crack cocaine • Twitter • Tumblr • social lubricant • huffing spray paint • caffeine pills

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