The Colbert Report

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Stephen Colbert Goes on ‘Catholic Bender’

He tried to give it up for Lent, but the Church pulled him back in

(Newser) - Lent is a time for Catholics to "give up something they love for 40 days," so this year, Stephen Colbert gave up Catholicism. He thought he could make it til Easter, but on Good Friday he caught a whiff of his trigger: cathedral incense. "Long story short,...

Stephen Colbert: How to Exploit the Ladies ... for Cash

Just follow Unilever's deodorant example

(Newser) - Stephen Colbert has certainly tackled women's issues on his show , but until last night, he had yet to address "the most pressing women's issue of all: how to make some cash off of them." Fortunately, Unilever is already on the job with the brilliant marketing of its "...

Colbert to Fox: No, You Can't Get Pap Smear at Walgreens

No, you cannot get a breast exam at Walgreens

(Newser) - During the recent budget brawl, Republican Sen. Jon Kyl argued against government funding for Planned Parenthood—since, as he said, "well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does" is abortions. "That is unbelievable!" said Stephen Colbert last night . "In that it is not true. Because only...

Colbert Takes Down James Franco, With Help From...

...Frank Jameso, of course

(Newser) - The economy may have added 200,000 jobs last quarter, but unfortunately, "150,000 of them were filled by James Franco," complained Stephen Colbert last night . And not only does Franco have many, many jobs —he's also "worked his way around more college campuses than chlamydia....

Dems Forcing 'Girly' Lightbulbs on Us: Colbert

Why should we have to use these 'pigtail lights'?

(Newser) - Thanks to the 2007 Energy Independence and Security Act, incandescent lightbulbs will be "effectively banned" by the Democrats come 2012, complained Stephen Colbert last night —and he is not happy about their replacements, the girly-looking compact fluorescent lights that some conservatives have described as looking like pigtails or...

'Tiger Mom' to Colbert: 'It's Supposed to Be Funny'

Also, Amy Chua says she ultimately had to relent

(Newser) - "Tiger Mom" Amy Chua defended herself on the Colbert Report last night, saying her memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, has been widely misinterpreted. "It's not a parenting book," Chua said. "It says on the cover, 'How I was humbled by a 13-year-old.'" Asked...

Martha Stewart: I Kill Drunk Turkeys

Colbert gives Stewart a cookery lesson

(Newser) - The bad news for turkeys meeting Martha Stewart is that she'll kill you with her bare hands. The good news is that she'll get you drunk first. The celebrity cookbook author, appearing on Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report , told the host that she treats the birds to airline-sized mini-bottles of cognac...

Stewart vs. Colbert for President: Who Would Win?
Stewart vs. Colbert for President: Who Would Win?
wapo poll
Nov 1, 2010 10:15 AM CDT

Stewart vs. Colbert for President: Who Would Win?

Stewart, according to Washington Post poll

(Newser) - The recent Washington Post -ABC News poll revealed more than just voters’ level of unhappiness: It also answered that all-important question, who would we rather have for president: Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert? Stewart, apparently: The Daily Show host trounced Colbert 42% to 22% among registered voters, and led—often...

Five Years Later, 'Truthiness' Endures

Colbert's favorite word is hotter than ever

(Newser) - It was five years ago today, and Stephen Colbert needed a word that could personify the "blowhard" persona he was about to launch on the Colbert Report. He was looking for something "sublimely idiotic," something "silly" with which to mock American pundits, writes Ben Zimmer in...

Oprah Flying Daily Show Audience to Rally

And she seems pretty darn excited about it

(Newser) - Oprah Winfrey is always giving stuff to her audience , and she feels bad that Jon Stewart’s audience never gets anything. So she made a surprise appearance on last night’s Daily Show (right after Stephen Colbert and Stewart announced that the Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity would be...

NPR Bars Employees From Stewart-Colbert Rallies

Memo sent to entire organization, not just reporters

(Newser) - There’s only one way employees of NPR will be attending the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert DC rallies: If they’re covering the events. The organization sent a memo to employees yesterday reminding them that they “may not participate in marches and rallies involving causes or issues that NPR covers,...

Stephen Colbert Losing Fans in Congress

Lawmakers sour on show and 'Better Know a District' bit

(Newser) - Congress seems to be getting tired of Stephen Colbert, and not just because of his in-character testimony on Capitol Hill, reports Politico . More and more lawmakers are turning down requests to be on his show—especially for the "Better Know a District" segment, which initially attracted lawmakers as an...

Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert Plan DC Rallies

'Rally to Restore Sanity,' 'March to Keep Fear Alive' coming to capital

(Newser) - Move over, Glenn Beck—Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have Washington DC rallies of their own planned. Stewart announced the "Rally to Restore Sanity" on the Daily Show, aimed at people who think neither Barack Obama nor George W. Bush is Hitler. The "Million Moderate March" on the...

Joe Biden: Hot Dog Guy to the Troops
 Joe Biden: 
 Hot Dog Guy 
 to the Troops 
Colbert Stunt
Sep 9, 2010 2:13 PM CDT

Joe Biden: Hot Dog Guy to the Troops

Vice president makes Colbert show appearance

(Newser) - Stephen Colbert celebrated the nominal end of the Iraq war last night in front of an audience full of military personnel. Determined to give them all the comforts of home, Colbert lined the rows with grass, served them beer, and wheeled out a hot dog cart manned by none other...

Jon Stewart Takes Down 'Beckapalooza'

Stephen Colbert joins in on the fun, too

(Newser) - The Daily Show is going on vacation for the next 10 days, so Jon Stewart took the opportunity last night to take down Glenn Beck and his “Restoring Honor” rally —or, as Stewart called it, “Beckapalooza, Beckstock, Beckchella, Becketh Fair, Becking Man.” The epic 10-minute rant...

Colbert Rips Facebook/Google for Selling Us Out

'They're mining our privacy for profits'

(Newser) - Stephen Colbert managed to get serious yesterday as he blasted the "invasive" personal data mining undertaken by Google and Facebook to "sell our private lives to the highest bidder." The harsh dig came at the end of a long hilarious riff about how Facebook users now must...

Colbert Reenacts Housewives Catfight

We'd pay to watch a Housewives series starring him

(Newser) - Whether you love the Real Housewives and Stephen Colbert…or hate the Real Housewives and love Stephen Colbert, you should appreciate this clip. Last night on the Colbert Report , Stephen and Bravo exec Andy Cohen hilariously reenacted one of the melodramatic season 2 fights between New York Housewives Bethenny Frankel...

Colbert to Texas: Banning Sodomy? Good Plan!
 Colbert to Texas: 
 Banning Sodomy? 
 Good Plan! 
but here's the problem...
Jul 2, 2010 7:20 AM CDT

Colbert to Texas: Banning Sodomy? Good Plan!

As long as you only ban 'the gay kind'

(Newser) - Stephen Colbert has just one problem with the Texas GOP’s plan to criminalize sodomy: It doesn't clarify what kind of sodomy it's talking about. “See, I’m all for banning the gay kind, but sometimes sodomy can be a depraved, unnatural act of debasement between a man and...

Colbert Turns Obama Speech Into Kids' Book

 Colbert Turns 
 Obama Speech 
 Into Kids' 
 Book 
'see spot spread'
Jun 18, 2010 8:19 AM CDT

Colbert Turns Obama Speech Into Kids' Book

Goes from 10th-grade-level to kindergarten-level

(Newser) - If you found yourself struggling to understand President Obama’s 10th-grade-level oil spill speech, Stephen Colbert is here to help you out. “Mr. President, your flowery verbiage is opaque and perplexing,” he said last night on the Report . “I’m sorry, I meant to say, your talky...

Colbert Nukes His Underwear to Protest the 'End of Men'

Because he can't burn them in his studio

(Newser) - OK, we're not gonna pretend this one actually has much news value, but there's something to be said for watching Stephen Colbert shimmy and shake his way out of his boxers and toss them in the microwave. Colbert nuked the drawers as a symbolic "protest" over the "End...

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