"We have been living a lie for far too long," a man announced at a city council meeting in Lincoln, Nebraska, this week. That lie: boneless chicken wings. "We have been casually ignoring a problem that has gotten so out of control that our children are casually throwing around names and words without even understanding their true meaning," Ander Christensen explained Monday, per KRVN, before footage of the meeting went viral. After chiding an audience member who chuckled, Christensen explained his stance: "Nothing about boneless chicken wings actually comes from the wing of a chicken. We would be disgusted if a butcher was mislabeling his cuts of meats but then we go around pretending the breast of the chicken is its wing?"
But, really, it's all about our children, who we should be raising better. "Our children are raised being afraid of having bones attached to their meat. That’s where meat comes from. It grows on bones," said Christensen, the son of council member Roy Christensen. "We need to teach them that the wing of a chicken is from a chicken and it's delicious." Therefore, Christensen proposed that the city rename boneless chicken wings as "Buffalo-style chicken tenders," "wet tenders," "saucy nugs," or perhaps just "trash," per USA Today. He'll be pleased to know that traditional wings make up the majority served—64% in 2018, according to the National Chicken Council, per Newsweek. Christensen is now asking that wing recommendations be sent to "firstname.lastname@example.org" while he awaits a public statement from the city. (Read more viral video stories.)