Jon Stewart has some helpful advice for Louisiana Rep. John Fleming, who laments that he only has $400,000 each year after spending $200,000 to "feed my family:" Eat at your own Subway (Fleming owns 33 of them). "There is a place where you can buy a full 12 inches of meat-stuffed deliciousness for $5," Stewart chortled last night. "By my calculations, $200,000 will buy you 40,000 feet of food." As for Fleming's complaint that higher taxes would impede his ability to open more locations, tragically, "You may find yourself at times more than 20 sandwich lengths away from the next Subway store."
Stewart then took aim at Bill O'Reilly's threat to pack it in if "taxation becomes oppressive." "So if taxes are raised, Bill O'Reilly might quit his Fox show?" Stewart snarked. "No. Please. Stop. No." And with millionaires on the endangered list, Stewart concludes, "If we don't act quickly, these once-plentiful creatures will be relegated to zoos and heart-breaking documentaries." (Read more entertainment stories.)