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Bad Sex Award Goes to the Author ... Morrissey

'The pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement'
By Kate Seamons,  Newser Staff
Posted Dec 2, 2015 7:28 AM CST
Bad Sex Award Goes to the Author ... Morrissey
In this July 21, 2012 file photo, British rock singer Morrissey, the former front man of the alternative rock group The Smiths, sings during his concert in Tel Aviv, Israel.   (AP Photo/Dan Balilty, File)

(Newser) – Morrissey: acclaimed singer, well-known vegan, and now, winner of the infamous Bad Sex in Fiction Award. The honor was foisted upon him Tuesday night thanks to a passage in the singer's debut novel, List of the Lost, which follows a '70s-era Boston relay team whose four members are cursed and then killed, reports Rolling Stone. The intention of the prize, handed out annually since 1993 by Britain's Literary Review magazine, is "to draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory, or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction, and to discourage them." Among those who have served as models of discouragement in the past: Tom Wolfe, Norman Mailer, and John Updike. For your reading pleasure/displeasure, Morrissey's passage, per the Guardian:

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  • "At this, Eliza and Ezra [a runner and his girlfriend] rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone."
Reuters reports, by way of the Review, that Morrissey "was unable to attend [the ceremony] due to touring commitments and was unavailable for comment." (2013's winner was really into science.)

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