Now that we know Mitt Romney will be the Republican presidential nominee, only one question remains: Who will serve as his running mate? The answer to the question so far seems to be a resounding "Not it!," Jon Stewart pointed out last night. He ran through those who have preemptively turned down the vice presidential nomination, from Nikki Haley to Tim Pawlenty to Condoleezza Rice, whose rejection of the role was particularly passionate: "How many ways can I say it? Not me."
"Denying interest in being the vice president is pro forma in politics. Everybody does it," Stewart pointed out. "But the tone that these folks are using—'Not me!'—that's what you say when someone shouts, 'Who wants free tickets to The Puppetry of the Penis?'" In perhaps the funniest rejection of all, Marco Rubio declined but suggested Sen. Rob Portman … who also declined, and suggested Rubio. Then Jeb Bush also suggested Rubio … who in turn declined again, and suggested Jeb Bush. "Why does being Romney's vice president now seem like a dare nobody wants to take?" Stewart wondered, before finally locating the one person who would take such a dare: Herman Cain, of course. (Read more Jon Stewart stories.)