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There's No Book Report Quite Like a Trump 'Book Report'

'Juliet ... made Romeo kill himself'
By Arden Dier,  Newser Staff
Posted Oct 21, 2016 6:47 AM CDT

(Newser) – It's fine that Donald Trump is too busy to read because we basically know his take on hundreds of literary classics, thanks to Twitter. It started with a tweet from a St. Louis alderman and mayoral candidate as he was watching Wednesday's debate, per the Huffington Post. "Trump's foreign policy answers sound like a book report from a teenager who hasn't read the book. 'Oh, the grapes! They had so much wrath!'" Antonio French tweeted. Then the Internet did its thing. By late Thursday, the hashtag #TrumpBookReport had been used more than 250,000 times, per CNN. A sampling:

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  • On Romeo and Juliet: "Juliet. Such a nasty woman. She made Romeo kill himself."
  • On Lord of the Rings: "There's a Lord and he's got rings. Lots of rings. The best rings. And two of the best Towers anyone has seen."
  • On Harry Potter: "Voldemort was a bad guy, okay. He was a bad guy. But you know what he was very good at? Killing Muggles."
  • On Sleeping Beauty: "The Prince just started kissing her. Didn't even ask. When you're a prince they let you do it."
  • On Much Ado About Nothing: "There was much ado, believe me. So much ado. Many people are saying how much ado there was. And about what? Nothing!"
  • On Gone With the Wind: "Scarlett-- a nasty woman. Spent the whole book wanting low energy Ashley Wilkes. Rhett is a great guy, though. Believe me."
  • On The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: "The problem with Narnia--which is a disaster by the way--is OPEN BORDERS. Just letting people POUR in through the wardrobe."
  • On The Giving Tree: "That Giving Tree was a loser. It gave and gave and gave. Horrible deals. Ends up a stump. Schmuck."
And so on. Meanwhile, Trump's claim Wednesday that Hillary Clinton is a "nasty woman" caused streams of Janet Jackson's "Nasty" to spike 250% on Spotify, reports Quartz. (Read more Donald Trump stories.)

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