Britney Spears spoke at a much-anticipated court hearing in Los Angeles Wednesday—and she made it clear that she is very, very unhappy with the court-ordered conservatorship that has been in place for the last 13 years. "It’s my wish and my dream for this to end," she told the judge, per the Hollywood Reporter. "I've lied and told the whole world I’m okay and I’m happy," she said. "I'm traumatized. I'm not happy, I can't sleep ... I'm so angry it’s insane." The singer, who spoke for around 20 minutes from a remote location, called the conservatorship arrangement "abusive" and denounced father Jamie Spears and others who have controlled it, reports the AP. She said she wants to marry boyfriend Sam Asghari and have a baby, but she can't get permission to go to a doctor and have her IUD removed.
Spears listed numerous grievances, saying she had been forced to do a 2018 tour and put on Lithium against her will. "This conservatorship is doing me way more harm than good,” the 39-year-old said. “I deserve to have a life." Spears said she wants to petition to end the arrangement without the condition of an evaluation, though attorney Sam Ingham III said he has not been formally directed to do so yet, CNN reports. "I just want my life back," Spears said. "It's been 13 years and it's enough." Spears has spoken in court about the arrangement before, but this is the first time her remarks have not been closed to the public, the AP notes. #FreeBritney protesters —whose suspicions about how Spears really felt were confirmed Wednesday—gathered outside the courthouse. (Read more Britney Spears stories.)