A Facebook post by the California Highway Patrol in South Sacramento uses no fewer than four poop emojis in telling this story, for good reason. It seems that in the wee hours of Monday morning, a driver called police to say he'd crashed into a pond on a dairy farm somewhere near the city of Elk Grove. Turns out, it was a storage pond for manure, reports the Sacramento Bee. Luckily, the driver wasn't hurt, but the manure had pretty well filled up the vehicle by the time authorities arrived.
Worse, the CHP says the unidentified guy had spent an hour trying to get out of the pond himself before realizing it was futile and calling for help. At which point it took about 50 minutes for the local fire department to find him. As KCRA points out, "that's two hours the driver spent in liquified excrement." Then came the perfect end to his night: Troopers charged the driver with DUI when he was finally freed. (More weird crimes stories.)