'Clinton Wins!' And Other Might Have Beens

By Neal Colgrass,  Newser Staff
Posted Nov 1, 2008 10:08 AM CDT
'Clinton Wins!' And Other Might Have Beens
Mike Huckabee reacts to winning the Kansas Republican presidential caucuses as he speaks to reporters at his hotel in Washington, Saturday, Feb. 9, 2008.   (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Reporters are already writing up advance analyses of how each of the two presidential candidates achieved victory next Tuesday—to be ready for either outcome. Slate has a little fun imagining some of the other scenarios that might have played out:

  • Hillary Clinton claimed a historic win after John McCain's oft-used phrase, "lipstick on a pig," insulted voters—and his VP pick, a black police lieutenant form small-town Maryland, backfired on him.

  • Wall Street's collapse looked like a boon to Barack Obama until voters turned to Mitt Romney's business smarts and "Money for Everyone" slogan; his purchase of the Treasury didn't hurt either.
  • Mike Huckabee's win was just divine. Obama won 46 states, but Huckabee somehow claimed victory; Larry King said his hand was "guided" to vote Huckabee.
  • John Edwards warmed America's hearts with a video on his loving home life. Director Rielle Hunter won "unprecedented access" to his administration.
Read up on more imaginary wins by clicking on the link below.
(More Election 2008 stories.)

Get the news faster.
Tap to install our app.
X
Install the Newser News app
in two easy steps:
1. Tap in your navigation bar.
2. Tap to Add to Home Screen.

X