dumb criminals

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Wanted: This Guy, and 'No, We Are Not Kidding'

California thief made off with $500 from artist, but not his own caricature

(Newser) - A caricature out of California either shows the most confident thief ever, or a very stupid one. Police in Riverside are asking anyone who recognizes the caricature to reach out—"and no, we are not kidding"—after the man pictured robbed the artist of $500 in cash. The... More »

Cops Allegedly Confiscated His Pot. So He Called the Cops on Them

He was quite irate (and wrong) during his conversation with an Ohio police sergeant

(Newser) - A man confused about Ohio drug laws called a police department demanding that officers return the small amount of marijuana they "stole" from him, per the AP . WXIX reports the man told a Sharonville police dispatcher in an expletive-laced call Tuesday that it's legal to possess 100 grams... More »

Suspect Gives Up Hiding Spot With Ill-Timed Outburst

Missouri cops catch a lucky break thanks to a loud fart

(Newser) - A suspect in Missouri wanted for possession of a controlled substance is likely regretting recent food choices after loud farting revealed his or her hiding spot near Liberty, Fox News reports. "If you've got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you... More »

Uber Driver Reports Would-Be Bank Robbers

They also called an Uber for a getaway

(Newser) - Things did not work out well for three Oklahoma City teenagers who allegedly planned to rob a bank—using Uber as transportation. Police say the Uber driver who took the teens to the bank Tuesday afternoon called authorities after hearing one of them say he had a gun and was... More »

Alleged Theft at Cop Station Goes as Well as You'd Expect

Would-be bike thief caught within seconds: police

(Newser) - The words "Gladstone Police" printed in large letters on a window next to a bicycle rack wasn't enough of a deterrent for an alleged thief, whom Oregon officers accuse of trying to steal a bike right from under their noses. A surveillance video shared Monday on Facebook —... More »

Crocs-Wearing Guy Jumps Into Croc Pond at Gator Farm

Yes, this story happened in Florida

(Newser) - Try saying this five times fast: A guy wearing Crocs jumped into the crocodile pond at an alligator farm. Namely, St. Augustine's Alligator Farm Zoological Park in, yes, Florida. A 23-year-old man was arrested after allegedly breaking into the park Monday night and deciding to take a swim in... More »

Store Owner Tells Robbers to Come Back Later. They Did

Belgian buffoons came back twice; the second time, the cops were there

(Newser) - They're either the world's most accommodating criminals, the greediest, the most optimistic, or the dumbest—or maybe all of the above. The BBC reports on 15 tense minutes Saturday for a Belgian e-cigarette shop owner, identified simply as Didier, when a half-dozen wannabe armed robbers showed up midafternoon... More »

Wannabe Burglar Hurls Brick, the Brick Hits Back

He's being called the 'Bad Luck Bandit'

(Newser) - Either he didn't know he was facing bulletproof glass, or he didn't quite know what happens when you throw something at bulletproof glass. Either way, a guy who broke into a Maryland takeout restaurant on Sept. 20 was likely nursing a nasty head bump the next day. NBC... More »

Thieves' Scheme to Steal Pot a Hilarious Flop

They got oregano instead from Colorado Springs shop

(Newser) - The heist went exactly as planned: Overnight thieves drove a stolen van right through the front doors of a marijuana shop in Colorado Springs, grabbed as much pot as they could carry, abandoned the van, and fled in a getaway vehicle, reports the Colorado Springs Gazette . The only hitch? All... More »

Dumb Old Faithful Stunt Gets Visitor Arrested

Man walks right up to it, which is against the rules, and appears to urinate in it

(Newser) - Taunting a bison is not only unwise, it will land you in legal trouble at Yellowstone . The same applies to tempting fate near Old Faithful. An unidentified man has been charged with multiple offenses, including going off-trail in a thermal area, after he appeared to urinate in the famous hot-spring... More »

Attempted Robbery Runs Out of Gas

When his car wouldn't go, the robber tried to flee on foot

(Newser) - Robbing a Store 101: Take the money and run—but not before checking your getaway car's gas tank, per the AP . Authorities say a man's bid to rob a Pittsburgh pharmacy was foiled because his car had no gas. Police say 39-year-old Anthony Scolieri fled the pharmacy Wednesday... More »

Mom's Facebook Claim About Abduction Attempt a Lie: Cops

Chelsie Hendel allegedly posted a live video about a crime that never happened

(Newser) - An Ohio mom's Facebook video about the attempted abduction of her child in a Walmart parking lot was all made up, per local authorities. Chelsie Hendel was arrested Friday after the Marion County Sheriff's Office says the 27-year-old mother recorded a live video about her experience in the... More »

Would-Be Bank Robber Balks, Asks to Open Account Instead

Unfortunately, he was lacking the proper ID to do so

(Newser) - A would-be bank robber turned into a would-be bank customer Friday afternoon, police say. The suspect walked into a Bayonne, NJ, bank and handed a teller a note demanding "all the money." But as the teller read the note, he snatched it back and said he wanted to... More »

Cops Have Easiest Suspect Chase Ever

They recognize fleeing motorcyclist, go to his home and wait

(Newser) - It might be one of the easiest police chases in the books. Police in West Jordan, Utah, say a motorcyclist took off during a routine traffic stop, and the officer involved started following him briefly before cutting off the chase, reports News4Utah . The motorcyclist identified as Brandon Briggs, 38, may... More »

Woman Busts Naked Intruder in Tub, Munching Her Cheetos

Evelyn Washington charged before she could finish her snack

(Newser) - Police in Louisiana say a woman came home to discover a naked stranger in her tub, eating her Cheetos while taking a bath, reports the AP . A Monroe police affidavit says 29-year-old Evelyn Washington was arrested on burglary and property damage charges. The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports that Washington was... More »

Cops: Alleged Car Thief Drives Stolen Car to Court

And voila, new charges

(Newser) - Bad habits: Police say a man answering to a stolen-car charge drove a stolen car to court in Connecticut. Authorities say 25-year-old Jonathan Rivera was at Hartford Superior Court on Wednesday to appear before a judge on a charge of first-degree larceny and tampering with a motor vehicle from February.... More »

Lucky Lotto Ticket Not So Lucky for This Florida Clerk

She allegedly gave undercover agent just $5 as his winnings, kept winning ticket for herself

(Newser) - A lucky lottery ticket turned out to be not so lucky for a Florida store clerk, who's accused of stealing it from a "customer." The reason "customer" is in quotes is because, per the Miami Herald , he was actually an undercover agent for the Florida Lottery... More »

Cops: Suspect Took Cab Away From Bank Robbery

'Getaway driver' called police after seeing photo

(Newser) - Police in West Virginia say a suspected bank robber was captured after taking a cab to the heist. Ryan Michael Stepanian was arrested in Monday's robbery of a Charles Town bank and another bank heist Friday in nearby Ranson, the AP reports. Cab driver George Lyon says he took... More »

Cops: Doughnut-Eating Champ Robbed Doughnut Store

NC man was arrested after winning 2014 contest

(Newser) - Doughnuts and arrests appear to be inextricably linked in the life of North Carolina man Bradley Hardison. The 27-year-old—who was arrested in 2014 after he won the doughnut-eating contest at the Elizabeth City Police Department's National Night Out Against Crime event, helping officers who'd been seeking him... More »

When Driving Getaway Car, Be Sure to Do it on a Full Tank

Georgia men made it 2 miles down the road after alleged robbery, ran out of gas

(Newser) - Police say a getaway car ran out of gas after an armed robbery near Atlanta, leading to the speedy arrest of two suspects. Gwinnett County police Cpl. Michele Pihera says 18-year-old Najee Logan and 21-year-old Justin Larry were charged with armed robbery after their arrest early Tuesday after officers found... More »

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