It was all the fish's fault, a Wisconsin man with nine drunk-driving convictions told officers when he was stopped for driving erratically. According to a police incident report, John Przybyla had bloodshot eyes and smelled of alcohol, but when a deputy asked the 75-year-old how much he had had to drink, Przybyla claimed he had only eaten beer-battered fish, Reuters reports.
Przybyla—whose driver's license had been revoked—was arrested after failing a field sobriety test and taken to the hospital, where a warrant had to be obtained for a blood test after he claimed it was against his religion, reports the Wisconsin Rapids Tribune. His drunk-driving convictions go back to 1994; his next court hearing is in January. (Earlier this year, a man found on a convenience store rooftop at 3am gave police three implausible explanations for what he was doing up there.)