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A customer who didn't have it his way and sweet vengeance against a computer are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

• Colorado Man Unloads 8 Bullets Into Misbehaving Computer: Lucas Hinch lived out every Office Space fan's fantasy when his Dell computer started acting wonky. Instead of taking it to get repaired, the 37-year-old Colorado Springs man took the computer out back and "effectively disabled" it—with eight bullets. Here's what police cited him for.
• Someone in Kentucky Stole a Whole Lot of Bourbon: More than $100,000 worth, to be exact. That's the value of what's been recovered, spurring the indictments of nine people who allegedly lifted brand-name booze from the Buffalo Trace and Wild Turkey distilleries. Franklin County prosecutors are saying it's an inside job by "rogue employees"; five barrels were allegedly found on a longtime Buffalo Trace Distillery worker's property.

• Burger King Customer Arrested After Citing Movie: Many of us have experienced the pain of arriving at a fast-food restaurant hungry for breakfast at 10:55am, only to be told the meal stopped being served at 10:30am. Most of us, however, weren't arrested after the experience. Not so for Gary Kuhn, a Connecticut man who received the disappointing news at a Manchester Burger King Sunday and allegedly responded by making an unfortunate film reference.
• Judge Called 'Impotent' (and More) in Absolutely Epic Court Document: Tamah Jada Clark hasn't been happy since her civil-rights-violation lawsuit was dismissed by Georgia US District Judge Willis B. Hunt Jr. So she submitted a nine-page complaint to him that starts off with "f--- this court" and gets even more bizarre from there (sample line: the court "runs and cowers like a panic-stricken hoe that has stolen money"). She may have gone too far with her ending statement, though.
• Pregnant Popeyes Manager Fired After Robbery: The crime wasn't so crazy, but the aftermath was. A Popeyes shift manager roughed up during an armed robbery says she was fired within 48 hours after she refused to pay back the $400 the thief made off with. Marissa Holcomb, who is pregnant with her fourth child, opened the register, and franchise owner Z&H Foods said what was in it was a violation of company policy.

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