Looking for a car that's old enough to vote, listens to the Gin Blossoms, and boasts absolutely no amenities? Brendan Tokarski has found your perfect ride. Per the Daily Mirror, Tokarski spied a "savagely honest" Craigslist ad out of Houston trying to dump a 1999 Toyota Corolla, and though the ad has since been taken down, Tokarski "felt the need to keep the story alive," per his tweet on Monday. "This car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you," the profanity-laden ad notes, going on to inform potential customers that the vehicle will "outlive you, it will outlive your children." That assertion despite the fact that it doesn't have Bluetooth, a sunroof, or "fancy wheels," nor a rear-view camera to help out when backing up.
Instead, it's got "a transparent rear window and you have a f---ing neck that can turn," the owner points out. The ad also says the Toyota enjoys spaghetti and watching Alf. "This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The f---ing 1999 Toyota Corolla," the ad concludes. Tokarski says the original asking price was $2,500—"a steal of a deal the ad alone was worth that much." Reaction to the write-up ranged from LOLs to appreciation for the Corolla brand. "As a diehard Toyota man, this evoked many emotions," one auto aficionado noted. Others appreciated the ad writer's creative touch: "beautiful writing. wipes away tear," another commenter tweeted. (Read more used cars stories.)