Snot Pizza Isn't a Felony: Keillor

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff
Posted Apr 22, 2009 1:39 PM CDT
A Dominos employee puts cheese in his nose in this YouTube screenshot.
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(Newser) – One minimum-wage worker farts on a salami sandwich, and suddenly the president of Domino's is issuing a public apology? “This is the world turned upside down,” writes Garrison Keillor in the Chicago Tribune. In the actual world, the salami fart is nothing. “The night manager just says, ‘Hey, you guys cut it out and go clean the toilet.’” But thanks to the Internet, it’s been magnified to absurdity—which is, of course, the goal of satire.

Now teams of consultants will descend on huge corporations “to draw up multipronged strategies for fighting booger attacks.” Hiring practices will be rewritten, YouTube gross-out videos will be the stuff of corporate warfare, and, less hilariously, those two brave camera-wielding workers will face felony charges. “I call on all Americans to stand up for the Conover Two and for our national sense of humor that has served us so well for so long boopboopbadoop,” Keillor writes. (Read more Garrison Keillor stories.)