Twitter = Crack, and Other Web Equivalents

YouTube is like shots of tequila; Gmail is caffeine
By Will McCahill,  Newser Staff
Posted Nov 22, 2009 1:28 PM CST
Cocaine.   (Wikimedia)
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(Newser) – We all have our favorite Internet time-wasters; now, Patrick Moberg gives us their equivalents in real-world vices:

  • Twitter is crack cocaine: “f---ing ANYONE is your friend. Yuppies do it on their iPhone. Cheap. Short. Fruitless.”
  • Tumblr is a bottle of wine: “A quiet night in with a couple friends … flipping through photo albums, singing favorite songs. … Emotions flow freely and without thought.”

  • YouTube is shots of tequila: “‘Just ONE’ to humor your friend quickly turns into 4 or 5. Anything and everything becomes wildly entertaining. A fun way to waste some time you won't really remember the details of. Probably for the best.”
  • Facebook is a vodka cranberry: “Social lubricant used to enhance still developing social etiquette. You're aware of your uninhibited actions, but comforted by the built in safety net of excuses.”
  • MySpace is huffing spray paint: “Destroys any chance of looking credible. You will be perceived as having the mindset of a middle-schooler, and probably do.”
  • Gmail is caffeine pills: “Great for a quick pick me up to stimulate productivity, but ultimately leaves you exhausted and relying on it.”
For the full list, check the link to the right. (Read more Twitter stories.)