Stewart: Sequester Is Like Sexy Choking

Jon Stewart last night took Washington to task over sequestration—which pundits once assured us would never happen. "It's as likely as Dennis Rodman being our chief envoy to North Korea," Stewart quipped on the Daily Show. The sequester, he says, is a bit like autoerotic asphyxiation: "It was like they tied a belt around their neck, and then looped it over the shower curtain, in the hopes that this pressure would somehow heighten the sensation of getting something done."

But with autoerotic asphyxiation, "everybody thinks they can pull it off—until they can't." Congress tied up the belt, but didn't manage to reach a deal. Still, their salaries aren't taking a hit. "As usual, they did it wrong," Stewart said. "And yet somehow, we're the ones blacking out, while they're all still jerking off." (More sequester stories.)