Hiding? No, Osama Was 'Chilling' in Pakistan

Jon Stewart doesn't exactly believe that no one knew he was there
By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff
Posted May 4, 2011 9:32 AM CDT

(Newser) – After years of Pakistan insisting Osama bin Laden wasn't hiding there, not only does it turn out that he was—but that he had been for six years, noted a flabbergasted Jon Stewart last night. "And by the way, 'hiding' bin Laden? 'Hiding'? Bin Laden wasn't 'hiding' in Pakistan, he was chilling in Pakistan. Crashing, if you will," he crowed. "If Waldo hid the way Osama bin Laden did, I wouldn't find those books so incredibly frustrating."

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And the whole time, he was just half a mile from Pakistan's version of West Point. "If the Pakistani Military Academy were Domino's, they would deliver to bin Laden on foot!" said Stewart, who became even more incredulous upon hearing the stories of bin Laden's high, barbed-wire-laden walls and trash-burning habits. "What more evidence did you need that something was awry in that one cul-de-sac?" he wondered. "And now you're like, 'Oh, that was Osama's house? The tall, lanky guy? We thought maybe Jeff Goldblum had been looking for a summer retreat, had grown a beard, and was burning all his trash. You know Hollywood people: eccentric!'" (Click for Stewart's initial reaction to the bin Laden news.)

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