'Dear Pat Robertson, Leave Me Out of It. Best, Satan'

Pat Robertson blames the Haiti earthquake on a "pact to the devil," but the prince of darkness is having none of it. At least that's the message of a letter to the editor of the Minneapolis Star Tribune that's quickly going viral. "If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox—that kind of thing," writes Lily Coyle, channeling Beelzebub. "An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style."

"You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings," writes Coyle—who, if we're reading LinkedIn right, is a Minneapolis-based playwright when she isn't taking dictation from evil entities. "Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract."
(More Pat Robertson stories.)