North Korea Is 2nd-Happiest Nation: North Korea

A new highly credible study from the North Korean government has discovered that it is—surprise!—the second-happiest nation on Earth, behind only China, according to the Shanghaiist. Apparently starvation, poverty, and rampant oppression didn’t stop the nation from earning 98 out of 100 happiness points, behind China’s 100. It was followed on the list by Cuba, Iran, and Venezuela.

Given that murderers' row, it probably shouldn’t surprise you that “The American Empire” came in dead last with three meager happiness points, and that neighboring South Korea was in 152nd with only 18 points. Of course, as NPR points out, when you refer to Kim Jong Il as the “son of God” and routinely declare weird miracles on his birthday, a little fake research “probably shouldn’t be too much of a shock.” (More North Korea stories.)