Are Today's Dads the New 'Second Sex'?

Gary Moskowitz notices how easily he's ignored
By Neal Colgrass,  Newser Staff
Posted Apr 29, 2012 2:19 PM CDT
Are Today's Dads the New 'Second Sex'?
Fathers: now the "second sex"?   (Shutterstock)

One father in London is feeling rather "invisible"—especially when doctors, nurses, and babysitters start talking. "Some of them have cut me off midsentence, and they often speak directly to my wife, even though I’m standing right there," writes Gary Moskowitz in the New York Times' Motherlode blog. "No matter how involved I am in [my son's] life, my wife is essentially treated as the priority parent." Worse, he feels partly "like a jerk" for complaining about it at all.

After all, his wife carried the boy for 41 weeks and devoted 6 months to making sure their "colicky child who screamed" ate and slept regularly. On the other hand, Moskowitz does half the baby duties and feels "like we're on equal footing as parents." Why, then, is he so ignored? Could it be the "ongoing stereotypes of dads as bumbling idiots who can’t change diapers"? Perhaps, but at least Moskowitz is amusing when he writes about mom-centric babysitters: "I’ve gotten texts from babysitters only twice: once when my wife was out of town, and once when her phone was dead." (More sexism stories.)

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