File this under "This Isn't a Real Headline, Right?" because democratically elected Florida Rep. Alan Grayson, D-Crazytown, is again making waves. When last we left Grayson, he was accusing his soon-to-be-ex wife of bigamy after 24 years of maybe-wedded bliss, as couples do (this after Lolita Grayson accused him of domestic violence, then recanted). But as the bigamy case was headed tomorrow to trial, Alan Grayson was denied his day in court—and of course it was not by an act of God or scheduling conflicts, but rather Lolita Grayson's leaking breast implants.
As the AP reports, Lolita Grayson went to get checked out for chest pains, only to be told her implants were leaking and needed to be removed along with scar tissue. Surgery was Monday, but "due to this medical emergency, wife is unable to prepare for or attend the trial," her attorney wrote. An anxious nation now won't know whether the Graysons were ever legally joined in matrimony (he says she never divorced her first husband; she says she did) until March, when the trial is now scheduled. (For a by-comparison perfectly functional marriage, check out these guys.)