Chunk Norris is more than a legend—he's a meme, a man who can kill other men just by looking at them, and a conservative who helped Mike Huckabee lose an election, writes Drew Grant for Urlesque. But it's a new decade, which means it's time for a new Chuck. Some likely candidates:
- Dolph Lundgren: This Swedish actor's claim to fame now includes more than his Rocky IV role—with recent spots in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Family Guy. A "Norris-esque reinvention" must be in the works.
- Rick Allen: Def Leppard's one-armed drummer can do anything Chuck does better. Example: Rick Allen can sneeze with one eye open...but one-handed!
- Warren Beatty: If he can have sex with 13,000 women, what can't he do?
- The Situation: Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is a meme legacy in the making, and basically guaranteed to "go more viral than his Herpes symplex."
- The Bear Jew: This Inglourious Basterds solider (aka Eli Roth) already has a Tumblr of "facts" about him, notes Grant, many of which are basically respun Chuck Norris facts. ("The Bear Jew invented violence—before the Bear Jew there were only stern looks.")