10 Lessons From Tiger

Say what you will about Tiger Woods, but the cheating golfer has taught us quite a bit about sexting, rehab, and how to keep your affairs quiet. Mary Elizabeth Williams offers up the top 10 lessons from Tiger, at Salon:

• Who not to hook up with: Skip women named “James, Jaime, or Jaimee.”
• And while you’re at it: Skip porn stars, too. “When the tabloids come calling, the star of Mayhem Explosions 8 may not have your best interests at heart.”

• There’s a rehab facility for everything: Use words like “treatment,” “layers of denial,” and “amends” to turn your misdeeds into “a force you're powerless against”—for just $20,000.
• Be careful who you talk about: Your former kindergarten teacher, who you once accused of not protecting you, will come back to “cash in.”
• TMZ and the National Enquirer are surprisingly legit: “And then, two weeks later, the latecomers will weigh in with their serious think pieces on why it all matters. Oh, mainstream media, you're the biggest tramp of all.”

For the complete list, click here. (More Tiger Woods stories.)