Franciscan friars at an ancient church in Florence are praying for a vengeful God to deliver a dose of the squits to a Bible thief. A rare and expensive Bible vanished from the lectern this week, and a replacement donated by a worshipper disappeared a few hours later. A notice put up by the friars says they hope the thief sees the error of his ways but if not, "we pray to God that the thief is struck by a strong bout of the shits," the Guardian reports.
"It is not exactly clean language," one friar admitted, "but we couldn't put up with it any longer. The Lord and the faithful will understand." (Read more Bible stories.)