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You know it's a big week for wacky crimes when news reports cite comparisons to The Italian Job and Seinfeld.

1. Mom Eats Bagel, County Takes Baby: Paging Seinfeld. The day after Elizabeth Mort took her daughter home, police officers and social workers came to her Lawrence County home without warning and seized the newborn because of a positive test for opiates ... caused by a poppy-seed bagel she had eaten hours before giving birth.
2. Venice Robbers Steal $1.7M ... in Lagoon: Three bank robbers pulled off a $1.7 million heist in one of the city's lagoons. In fact, they made it look easy, and racked up a number of Italian Job comparisons along the way.

3. Felony Charges, Jail for Student Who Bought Water: Don't mess with agents from Virginia's Alcoholic Beverage Control. A UVA student learned that the hard way after spending a night in jail and getting charged with three felonies—after buying bottled water.
4. Cops: Tiffany VP Stole $1.3M in Jewelry: A former executive at Tiffany's is accused of taking 165 pieces of jewelry, pretty much one piece at a time, and then reselling them to an international dealer for about $1.3 million. And authorities say they've found some pretty convincing evidence.
5. Woman Throws Gas on Man Who Takes Her Bus Seat: It's 5:30am on a Monday. You get on your morning bus, but a man is sitting in the seat you prefer. Do you: a) Ask him to move? b) Sit elsewhere? or c) Take a bottle of gasoline out of your purse and throw it all over him? A woman in Kansas City chose option C.

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