Old acquaintance should not be forgot, especially not when it comes to the folks who've allegedly committed the dumbest, weirdest, face-palmiest crimes of the year. Here are 2014's best—or worst, depending how you look at it—crazy crimes, in five categories that have more than a few entrants.
- ONLINE FAILS: Woman Arrested Thanks to Unflattering Facebook Pic (October): A 34-year-old Ohio woman was hit with aggravated-robbery and kidnapping charges all thanks, in part, to an unflattering Facebook photo. After Monica Hargrove allegedly robbed a friend and left her stranded in the street, a warrant was issued for her arrest, and Columbus Police posted a mugshot of Hargrove on its Facebook page. Hargrove didn't like the pic—and what police said she did next goes down in the annals of narcissistic numbskullery. (Runner-up and No. 3.)
- WEDDINGS GONE WRONG: Groom Hits on Pregnant Server, Brawl Ensues (September): A wedding bash on a Pittsburgh boat went terribly wrong, ending with the arrests of an off-duty state trooper, a local school board member, and the groom himself. The reported reason for the chaos: Newlywed Mark Williams, 33, allegedly hit on a waitress and tried to pour liquor down her throat—even though she told him she was pregnant. And there are crazier details still. (Runner-up and No. 3.)
- PUTTING THE 'DUH' IN DUI: Driver Mistook Jail for Someplace Else (October): A Michigan woman didn't have far to go after her arrest on drunk-driving charges. Officers say the 39-year-old was in the Van Buren County Jail's parking lot when her BAC clocked in at more than twice the legal limit—because she mistook the building for a much, much different locale. (Runner-up and No. 3.)
- NOISE VIOLATION: Man Jailed Over Loud Sex (April): There's a noisy romp between the sheets and then there's sex so loud it's considered "stalking" your neighbors. That was the charge an Italian man apparently faced in court, after a dozen of his neighbors filed a civil suit complaining of his loud lovemaking sessions. They took issue with "screams and moans" that "disturbed the peace in the condominium and the building’s decorum." The man's not-exactly-modest claim about his lovemaking skills didn't help things. (Runner-up and No. 3.)
- SMILE PRETTY FOR YOUR POLICE PORTRAIT: Bank Robbery Suspect Makes the Most of His Mugshot (September): You're never fully dressed without a smile, even if you're in jail garb. At least, that seemed to be 45-year-old Michael Whitington's philosophy after he got his pic taken for posterity by police after they say he robbed a Denver bank. His crime may have been a bit run-of-the-mill, but not his mugshot. (Runner-up and No. 3.)
Click to see all of 2014's crazy crimes
. (Read more weird crimes