Robert Michael Phillips has seven felony convictions and more than a dozen arrests on his resumé—which he apparently feels earns him the right to list his occupation as "drug dealer," reports the Palm Beach Post. The slight problem being that he did so not on an application to peddle illegal substances, but rather on his arrest report, albeit for a host of alleged drug-related offenses. Something else he can add to his resumé—a veritable symphony of charges that include resisting arrest, heroin trafficking, possession of cocaine with intent to sell, weapons possession by a career criminal, fleeing law enforcement at a high rate of speed, striking a police animal, battery, and driving with a suspended license.
What police say went down, per the Post: Phillips cut off an unmarked officer, nearly causing an accident. The cop ran a check on Phillips, discovered he was driving a stolen car, and followed; he observed Phillips conduct a drug deal. When police approached, he sped off, eventually entering a Michaels store, where he knocked a woman down, dropped a loaded weapon, and ran out the back. Cops used a police dog to apprehend Phillips, and say they found 22 grams of heroin, about $2,300 in cash, 5.3 grams of crack, a drug scale, and hypodermic needles on his person and in his car. (Meanwhile, in other Florida criminal masterminds...)