William Ziegler died July 29 at the age of 69 "to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election," and "unlike previous times, this is not a ploy to avoid creditors or old girlfriends." At least according to an obituary published Friday in the New Orleans Times-Picayune. The Times-Picayune reports the obituary, quickly going viral, was the work of Ziegler's four children and calls it one of the all-time great obituaries. Ziegler served in Vietnam—the obituary notes he "only stuck it out for one war"—before working as a firefighter in New Orleans for 25 years.
The obituary goes on to note Ziegler's fondness for his "alcoholic dog," the "morons and mental patients" he worked with, and "potted meats," the Huffington Post reports. According to the New York Daily News, there won't be a service, so Ziegler's children ask people to "write a note of farewell on a Schaefer Light beer can and drink it in his honor." Ziegler's daughter, Sharah Currier, tells the Times-Picayune that her dad would always pass along strange obituaries. "He would have loved this," she says. "He probably would have forwarded this obituary to us." Ziegler's obituary does end on a serious note: "He will be greatly missed." (Read more obituary stories.)