Vanity gets you every time. That and other lessons—like just don't kidnap turkeys, or travel with staggering loads of cocaine—can be gleaned from this week's craziest crimes.
- Real Estate Agent's Kids Made Naked Find at Open House: The wacky world of real estate-related crime continues with this entry out of Great Falls, Mont., where some young kids busted a couple of slightly older kids in a compromising position. Police reports note that a local real estate agent arrived to set a home up for an open house on Sunday, his "elementary-age" kids in tow, and as he was prepping the house, the kids decided to wander around—and stumbled across a shocking scene in one of the bedrooms.
- Displeased With This Mugshot, Teen Submits Better One: The request was a polite one, if nothing else: "can you use this photo, please and thank you [haloed smiley emoji] Yours Truly Amy Sharp xx." Sharp allegedly posted that comment to Australia's 7 News Facebook post regarding her escape from police custody. The 18-year-old fled the Surry Hills Corrective Services Cell Complex on Aug. 19, and Sydney police subsequently issued a statement that 7 News picked up, which included these two photos of a dour-looking Sharp.
- Cops: Trio Brought $23M in Cocaine on Cruise: Australia has made one of its largest drug busts ever … on a cruise ship. With help from Canadian and US authorities, police searched the Sea Princess after it docked in Sydney on Sunday and uncovered 210 pounds of cocaine, worth about $23 million, in two cabins. Two twenty-something women could now face life in prison for drug smuggling.
- Drugs Were Found in Her Car. 'I Have an Enemy,' She Said: Things smelled off to Officer Charles Shaver from the outset. A 911 caller had reported a parent, "Kelli," driving erratically at Plaza Vista Elementary School in Irvine, Calif. Shaver did indeed find drugs behind Kelli Peters' driver's seat. But the caller said he saw Peters at 1:15; she had entered the school at 12:40. And Shaver had never seen someone "hide" their drugs by leaving them visibly hanging out a seat pouch. Incredibly, instead of arresting Peters, Shaver kept asking questions. "I have an enemy," she told him.
- Turkey Euthanized After Being Kidnapped by College Students: Two California college students have been sentenced for snatching a turkey that had to be euthanized five months after it was found reeking of beer, with a broken toe and missing feathers. Tim the Turkey vanished from a farm run by a high school in April. He was found wandering the streets several hours later, and Steven Koressel and Richard Melbye learned their fate on Thursday.
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