President Trump's reelection campaign has a new slogan—or it's mentioned in an email, anyway. "Make Straws Great Again," reads a Friday missive from Trump campaign manager Brad Parscale. The email takes a stab at paper straws (they "don't work") before making its pitch: "That's why we just launched our latest product—Official Trump Straws," he writes, per NPR. "Now you can finally be free from liberal paper straws that fall apart within minutes and ruin your drink." A 10-pack of the recycled red straws, adorned with "TRUMP" in silver, runs for $15 but takes nearly two weeks for delivery. This after Parscale tweeted earlier in the week that paper straws represent what Democrats would do with the economy: "Squeeze it until it doesn't work."
Appropriately, a Guardian reporter asked Trump about straws at a press conference on Friday. "I do think we have bigger problems than plastic straws," said Trump. "You know, it's interesting about plastic straws: so, you have a little straw, but what about the plates, the wrappers, and everything else that are much bigger and they’re made of the same material?" Well, right—plastic straws apparently make up less than 1% of the ocean's plastic waste and are needed by some people with disabilities. Yet a ban would still reduce the single-use plastic problem that plagues sea life (as in this sad video). Meanwhile, plastic-straw alternatives include hay straws, glass straws, and bamboo straws. And now, there's the Trump straw. (There's also death by metal drinking straw.)