The bride and groom had already logged nearly four decades of marriage before he asked her to marry him again—forgetting he'd done it the first time. Linda Feldman, 78, and Michael O'Reilley, 77, both longtime public defenders in California's Alameda County, first married in 1987 after years of his proposals and her reluctance to remarry. Now living apart as O'Reilley receives care for advanced Alzheimer's disease at the Ivy, a Berkeley assisted living facility, the couple remain deeply connected. When O'Reilley wrapped his arms around Feldman and asked her to be his wife late last year, she didn't correct him. "I said yes," she recalls, per Berkeleyside.
Earlier this month, staff at the Ivy turned a sunlit community room into a small wedding venue with flowers, candles, and a custom cake topper modeled on the couple. O'Reilley, whose awareness comes and goes, had been confused that morning, Feldman says, but "rallied for the party." Escorted down an aisle scattered with rose petals, he appeared amused and curious. When Feldman spoke to him and their guests about their years together—raising a blended family, traveling, navigating careers and conflicts—he responded in flashes of his old quick wit. "We both like to laugh," she said. "Yes, pretty much," he replied, drawing laughter from the room.
Feldman says one reason she embraced a second "wedding" was to show that dementia does not always erase emotional bonds. Research suggests that even with severe cognitive decline, some people with Alzheimer's retain feelings and can be soothed by familiar voices and touch. At the Ivy, staff say O'Reilley still brightens when he sees Feldman. "He's always holding me, he's always kissing me, he's always got his arm around me," Feldman tells the Washington Post. "And he always says: 'I love you.'" She doesn't sugar-coat the difficulties that come with O'Reilley's condition, but knows she's "very lucky" to be able to prove that, as she puts it, "love can endure even the most challenging obstacles."