Feds: Sorry, Mermaids Aren't Real

We know you've been holding your breath, but you can stop now: The US government has officially declared that there is no evidence mermaids exist. The strange announcement came about after Animal Planet ran a show about mermaids called Mermaids: The Body Found in May. Apparently, some people thought it was a documentary, leading to a number of inquiries on the matter. In response, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration posted an article clarifying the fact that "no evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found."

Discovery News notes that NOAA's bread and butter is dealing with things like, oh, hurricanes. But it actually has gone on the record about other oceanic legends in the past, like Atlantis and the Bermuda Triangle. (More mermaids stories.)