An Iffy Legal Opinion: Apologies of the Week

The public apologies of the week include a non-apology in disguise:

• Check the law again: "In my moment of shock and anger, I made an inarticulate comment—which I do not believe—and which I apologize for entirely.”—Michael Cohen, lawyer for Donald Trump, after asserting incorrectly that "you can't rape your spouse."
• Not actually an apology: “I deeply regret that my pursuit of an activity I love and practice responsibly and legally resulted in the taking of this lion."—Walter Palmer, dentist and lion hunter, after killing Cecil. (Quartz calls his full statement a "masterful non-apology.")

• Taking it back: “We apologize to survivors, our partners, our board, our staff and ALL women."—Co-founders of A Call to Men, an anti-domestic violence group, after they caught flak for saying that Ray Rice deserved a second chance in the NFL after his "mistake."
• Digging in: "I first and foremost need to apologize to our fans, because I truly believe what I did in May, given the actual evidence of the situation and the league’s history on discipline matters, would make it much easier for the league to exonerate Tom Brady."—Robert Kraft, Patriots owners, telling fans he should have fought the league earlier on Deflategate.
• Unlikely: “To whom it may concern, I am so sorry. I thought it was disregarded trash and was going to use it for tarps.”—Anonymous person who took and then returned a 600-pound bounce house in Tennessee with a note of apology, after the theft made headlines. Police are still looking for the person, however.

(More apology stories.)