What Jay Should Say Tonight

Is there any joke that can save the big-chinned one?
By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff
Posted Mar 1, 2010 1:17 PM CST
What Jay Should Say Tonight
In this March 19, 2009 file photo, host Jay Leno is shown on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" in Burbank, Calif.   (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert, file)

(Newser) – The public has largely branded Jay Leno the villain in the Conan debacle, but if there’s anything that can repair the damage it’s a good joke right? So New York magazine asked a bunch of local comedians how The Chin should open tonight’s show. Their suggestions:

  • “Ladies and gentlemen, the only reason you see me standing here is I was NBC's Plan B. Plan A involved the corpse of Johnny Carson and a lightning bolt.” —Jay Black

  • “We've decided to start fresh at the Tonight Show, so we've added some new segments: ‘In the Year 4000,’ ‘Jay's Book Club,’ and ‘Top Eleven Lists.’” —Veronica Mosey
  • “Remember when the Taliban was overthrown, but then they came back into power again? Hi, I'm Jay.” —Tom Cotter
  • "Me going back to the Tonight Show is like saying, ‘Check the prostate again, Doc, and this time have some fun with it!’” —Chip Hirschfield
(Read more Jay Leno stories.)

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