Greenland's not for sale? Conan O'Brien doesn't buy it. Well, actually, he hopes to. "As the elder statesman of late-night, what if I negotiated the deal?" O'Brien said during his Monday monologue, announcing an upcoming and very real visit to the country President Trump has an interest in purchasing. With "as much, if not more, negotiating experience as Trump," O'Brien added he's "ready to sweeten the deal."
- "There's a couple of ways we could do it. We could do a straight trade. Greenland for Florida, OK? Yeah. Trust me, this is our best state. And please do not Google 'Florida.' Not convinced yet? How about this, Greenland, once you're part of the United States, you'll be enrolled in the US Healthcare system. That's right. Yeah. Also, please do not Google 'US Healthcare system.' Please."
The late-night host touted another perk, noting Greenlanders would never again be cold since they’d have "American fat"—"the greatest fat in the world," per the Hollywood Reporter. And "if I do not make this deal, I, Conan O'Brien, will never, ever, again step foot on American soil," he said, receiving a standing ovation. The special Conan in Greenland, the latest in O'Brien's Conan Without Borders adventures, will air Sept. 3 on TBS. (Read more Greenland stories.)