Lindsay, Go 'F' Yourself

It’s safe to say Andrea Peyser is not a fan of “blubbering, bawling mega boob Lindsay Lohan.” Lohan is—among other things—a “pathologically spoiled, drug-addled skank” whose 90-day jail sentence is just the latest in a series of “epic failures as a sentient human,” Peyser writes in the New York Post. Far from her one-time status as a “fresh-faced child star,” LiLo now “resembles something dragged in on the bottom of my shoe.”

In case you haven’t yet gotten the idea, Peyser notes that “what Linz desperately needs is a swift kick in the teeth, a foot in the backside, and a broom with which to clean up her many messes, which I would not touch with a full-body condom.” She declares Lohan’s career over, but just in case it somehow isn’t, Peyser wants a boycott: “Don't see her movies. Don't rent her videos. Starve Lindsay Lohan. It's the only way.”