It was an accident that "could happen to anyone," but for Eva Amurri Martino, the consequences have lingered. The actress and blogger reveals in a Jan. 1 post spotted by People that days after Thanksgiving, her 3-month-old son, Major, tumbled from the arms of his night nurse onto the hardwood floor, fracturing his skull and plunging her and husband Kyle Martino of 36 Hours into the "the most traumatic and anxious" days of their lives. "Our Night Nurse fell asleep while holding Major," Amurri Martino, the daughter of Susan Sarandon, writes on her website HappilyEvaAfter.com. She recalls being "awoken by the sound of his head hitting the floor, and then hysterical piercing screams." Though he suffered bleeding on his brain, Major was "divinely lucky" and suffered no lasting damage.
But Amurri Martino says crushing guilt followed her. "I wept in the hospital, telling anyone who would listen that it should have been me. That I was to blame…. It 'could happen to anyone,' and as they told me repeatedly in the hospital, it DOES happen to anyone." She forgives the nurse who made "a very human mistake," but now she says she can't bear anyone else taking care of Major or his sister, Marlow Mae, 2. Hearing Major's cries "triggers my memories" and "instigates an immediate panic attack." She describes other effects such as dizzy spells and nausea and sobbing fits, and suspects she's dealing with some type of PTSD and possibly postpartum depression and will be getting help. "The storm under the surface has been brewing to a point that I can no longer ignore," she writes. (These stars suffered postpartum depression.)