One of the most highly anticipated films debuting at the Sundance Film Festival was Miss Americana, a Netflix documentary about Taylor Swift. The film premiered Thursday night, and one big headline emerged from it: Swift's revelation that she struggled with an eating disorder, triggered by comments about her appearance, the BBC reports. The 30-year-old says she'd keep lists of everything she put into her body and worked out fanatically, while some days she'd "just stop eating" altogether. It took such a toll on her body that, in 2015, she'd sometimes feel like she was about to faint during performances. When people spoke to her about her weight, she'd deny any issues and simply say she was working out a lot, which was true—but also, "I wasn't eating."
Per the Guardian, Swift goes on to tell director Lana Wilson that she never felt she could meet the "standard of beauty" that's expected, "because if you're thin enough, then you don't have that ass that everybody wants, but if you have enough weight on you to have an ass, then your stomach isn't flat enough. It's all just f---ing impossible." Swift says when she feels the urge to judge the way she looks now, she offers herself positive reinforcement, telling herself, "Nope. We do not do that anymore because it's better to think you look fat than to look sick." Miss Americana comes to Netflix Jan. 31; more from the documentary in Variety. (Swift recently announced her mom has a brain tumor.)